Happy Butthurt Pagan Day- I mean, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Happy Butthurt Pagan Day- I mean, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

St. Patrick’s Day is practically turning into an annual salt-fest online among Pagan/Heathen/Professional LARPER communities. They vacillate between “HRRR Don’t mess with us Mighty Pagans, Christcuck!” and “Ow! Ow! Owie! You Christians are so meeaaaan, and that’s not very Christlike now is it?”

Let’s see how St. Patrick went about converting these types back in the day:

After a formal greeting between Laeghaire and Patrick, the wizard, Lochru, attacked him angrily with contention and shouting. He became malicious and hostile, and even violent, blaspheming the Holy Trinity. Patrick’s anger was roused and he called upon God, “O Lord, Who can do all things, and on whose power depends all that exists, You have sent us here to preach Your Name to the heathen. Now let this ungodly man, who blasphemes Your Name, be lifted up and let him die.”

No sooner had Patrick finished speaking than a supernatural force raised the wizard in the air. He fell heavily down, his head striking a stone. And so he died in the presence of those assembled. The heathen seeing their own subdued, and realized that Patrick had more power than the Druids and were very impressed and afraid.

But the King was enraged at the fate of Lochru, on whom he had greatly depended on in all his difficulties. He then wanted to take the life of Patrick. “Slay this man,” he cried to his guards, But Patrick stood firmly in his place. With flashing eyes and a resonant voice he said, “Let God arise and His enemies be scattered; and let them that hate Him flee from before His face! As smoke vanishes, so let them vanish away: as wax melts before the fire, so let the wicked perish at the presence of God.”

By this time the sun had begun to rise and the morning splendor bathed the earth. But at the words of Patrick, darkness crept back over the sky and the ground shook with an earthquake.

The swords and spears of the warriors clashed against their shields and it seemed to them that sky was falling down, and there was no hope of escape from impending destruction. The frightened horses galloped away in wild confusion, and the wind blew so fiercely that the chariots moved.

Because of the confusion and fear the warriors began to fight among themselves and some were killed. Realizing their mistake, they fled, leaving only three people with King Laeghaire and Queen Angas.

-From the book “Celtic Flames” by Kathie Walters

#OrthodoxChristianity triumphs over all.

#StPatrick #HappyStPatricksDay

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